Given It A Bit Too Much Heart and Seoul
by cinderelli
Summary: An attempt to make you laugh. A BTS fanfiction with an incompetent female lead.


**A/N: A fanfiction following my OC Swanzie. Despite the title, none of this actually takes place in Seoul. The setting is in an unknown city that has basically everything. The chapter titles have little influence on the actual story...They are just some of my favorite Mitchell and Webb skits.**

 **Disclaimer: I own none of the characters with the exception of Swanzie.**

 **Given It A Bit Too Much Heart and Seoul:**

 **Chapter 1:**

 **Bear Hands:**

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Swanzie opened her unnaturally colored eyes to this day, this dreary grey day. Of course it was bright and sunny outside, but in her heart she felt cold and empty. She wanted to stay in the warm abyss known as her comforter draped around her ripped frame. Swanzie lived alone in a two bedroom apartment, on the third floor, in a relatively shady area downtown. It can be a pretty dangerous place for a sixteen year old, especially around nightfall when shady people are out and about. Swanzie moved out of her father's house after having a serious argument with her stepmother and half-sister. By the end of the fight, it was evident that her father favored his new family over her. Despite all this Swanzie had to make due; in order to keep up with rent, Swanzie barely went to school and took up freelancing. She has been doing odd jobs such as; airplane repo, human scarecrow, elevator mechanic, toy creator, and her personal favorite bounty hunter. For none of these jobs was she actually qualified for, so she was released for obvious reasons, as well as for negligence by putting lead paint on the toys and turning into a mob boss with violent shake downs after being placed into positions of authority as a human scarecrow. How a lone sixteen year old was able to orchestrate elaborate beatdowns of innocent passersby, by befriending the crows, is still a complete mystery for the employers.

Swanzie finally decided to get up and go out for a walk looking for work. She put on black pants coupled by a black shirt that had 'Deus ex Machina' in large red letters on the front and headed outside. As she waddled the streets, the sun beating down on her and the sidewalk looking hazy. She came across a small tattoo parlor squashed between a hair cuttery and a gothic clothes store that only sold items in black or white. Swanzie has never seen this tattoo parlor before, the city she lived in was very adamant on clean/unaltered skin and a tattoo parlor is out of the ordinary for this city. Swanzie may need a tattoo if she wanted to look intimidating for her next freelance job—man she loved to look intimidating! She loved the tough image despite her having a round cute face.

Approaching the tattoo parlor she saw a 'Help Wanted' sign. Swanzie wasn't the best of artists but she was okay, if she couldn't find any other work she guessed she could work there. Swanzie walked into the parlor hearing a soft ding as she opened the door. It was only her there, she double checked to see if the store was closed and nope! The sign on the door said the parlor was open.

"Hello?" Swanzie called out into the dark parlor. After a few seconds of silence a man stepped out of a booth. He looked anxious, scared even. The man was not that tall he looked to be a little under six foot. His jet black hair was in a bowl cut, but he was trying to get his bangs to cover his eyes. He kept shaking his head downward and trying to hide himself behind his hair.

"Keep it down! Do you want to get caught?" The man asked paranoid. He lifted his head to look at Swanzie and immediately retracted his gaze back to the floor.

' _This guy is on drugs._ ' Swanzie thought regretting her decision to call out into a dark tattoo parlor, in all likeliness it could have been a crackhouse for all she knew. Swanzie slowly backed up trying to get back to the entrance.

"Wait!" The man called after her, "You did not come here to shut down my shop did you?" he asked lifting his eyes to meet Swanzie's.

"No?" Swanzie replied confused. A huge sigh of relief escaped the man as he stood up taller.

"That is a relief, the last girl who came in here threatened to report me for not having a license if I did not go out with her."

"And did you?"

"I haven't left this parlor...so...no." The man said, an awkward silence followed, "Um, so that means you are a customer?" The man asked.

"I saw that you were hiring and I wanted to check it out."

The man beamed at that, "Oh yes! Come in! Come in!" The man said eagerly as he ushered Swanzie into his office.

From wall to wall the office was covered in artwork. Every single piece had the initials "J.K." on them, Swanzie assumed they were all this guys art.

"My name is Jungkook by the way,"

"My name is Swanzie."

"So what are your qualifications, Swanzie? Do you have a license?"

"I was a toy maker once, and I do have a license." Swanzie lied.

"That is great! Do you have any artwork?"

"No."

Jungkook pulled out a piece of paper and a fine tip sharpie handing it to Swanzie,

"I want to see how you draw, just draw something you like."

Swanzie picked up the sharpie and began to draw on the piece of paper, after a half an hour, Jungkook leaned over to see what Swanzie has drawn. Jungkook made a face of disgust after looking over the drawing of a single, wobbly, stick figure with what looked to be a line sword.

"Are you serious?" Jungkook asked with a slight scowl.

"Yes, I always am." Swanzie replied unblinking.

"...Get out."

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 **A/N: So how was this chapter? Did you like it? Did you dislike it? Please leave a review to tell me what you think of this chapter. The next chapter will be uploaded in a weeks time! Until then!**

 **Thank you!**

 **cinderelli**


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